Storm Hawks BC
by BlueTiger321
Summary: Parody of a SpongeBob SquarePants episode. The Storm Hawks' ancestors are seen as they were in prehistoric times. Were they just like their descendants or were they fighting for survival? Hilarity will ensue.
1. Chapter 1: A Caveman's Life

Chapter 1: A Caveman's Life

BlueTiger321: Hello everyone! It's me, BlueTiger321 back with another SpongeBob SquarePants parody! After a lot of hard work with doing other important things in my life, I now have time to create another fanfiction. So first, the legal parts: The SpongeBob SquarePants franchise is property of Nickelodeon Studios and Storm Hawks and all characters used in this story are property of Nerd Corps Entertainment. This is one of my favourite SpongeBob episodes and I figured the Storm Hawks would do well with them as the cast. So just sit back and enjoy!

* * *

Across the sky of an undisclosed Canadian city, dozens of houses rush by as the narrator begins to speak. He speaks in a French accent to the readers, saying, _"It's time for another BlueTiger321 SpongeBob parody."_

The screen finally stops on a house sitting by itself on the side of a street. This house did not seem special compared to the other houses. What was so special about it was that it was home to the host of this grand tale.

"_But it's not an ordinary parody,"_ the narrator continues, _"because today, we go to Canada as it was..."_ A flash of light then erupts and changes the setting. The house now didn't appear modern but instead changed to stone with a wooden chimney. Around it was a lush jungle with other stone houses, a misty sky, and a volcano in the distance. The narrator continues his introduction by saying, "_...one hundred million years ago! So prepare yourself for..."_

**STORM HAWKS B.C. (Before Condor)**

"_With your host, BlueTiger321!"_ As the narrator finished the last sentence, an image of a grinning man is shown. The man is indeed the host BlueTiger321, and he looks rather calm with his hazel eyes, short blonde hair and a blonde goatee on his chin. His clothing consisted of a black tank top that showed his medium build along with his blue jeans and black shoes. Beside the man was what appeared to be a white cat with strings attached to its limbs like it was a marionette.

(A/N: For the role of Polly, I'm using my cat Dusty who passed away back in April. This is sort of like a tribute to honour his memory.)

The screen then switches inside the house. The interior looks like what it would be if it was a regular house, except it had a prehistoric setting with the furniture being made out of stone, the walls being covered with drawings, and a pelt covering the floor to act like a rug.

A loud cheer is then heard, introducing the host BlueTiger321. Unlike the previous image, he wasn't wearing his usual clothes but was now dressed in a black-and-white pelt similar to that worn by a caveman. The man also had a fake dinosaur wrapped around his lower body with his legs sticking out from underneath it; a pair of fabric legs was sewn on the sides of the dinosaur to simulate him riding it.

"Yeehaw!" shouted the host, holding the reins by one hand and swinging around his free hand.

BlueTiger then stops and looks at the readers and realizes that now is the time for him to begin the story. "Hey readers," he said. "Now you're probably wondering, 'Hmm, what's BlueTiger doing in a cave?' Good question, you little..." The host mumbles to himself, thinking it was actually a stupid question.

Walking off to a wall, he then explains the point of this story. "Well, it's because this story takes place in prehistoric times," he said. As the host is telling the story, the screen goes to the wall and shows a drawing of what appeared to be the legendary Sky Knight Aerrow with a spear in his hand and facing off against a swarm of sky sharks. "Back when man struggled for survival and creatures ruled the Atmos." The screen then shows another drawing of a giant Raptor clutching Junko in its teeth and Aerrow running for his life.

"Isn't that right, Bronty?" said BlueTiger to the fake dinosaur. "But I'm ridin' _you_ now!"

The host then smacked the dinosaur's neck and laughed. He then attempted to get it off his body but seemed to be having difficulty. He grunted as he tried to push it off with all his might. "It's stuck," he said. He ended up pushing so hard that he lost his balance and toppled over, yelling as he struck the floor with a thud.

BlueTiger yelled, "Get me out! Help! Help!" while thrashing his legs and trying to self-right himself. Two crewmen appeared on screen and helped him to his feet.

_Please Stand By..._

BlueTiger was back on his feet with the fake dinosaur off his body. He looked rather embarrassed about the last scene and wished that no one would ever mention it to him again.

"Like I was saying," he said, "prehistoric times were the greatest."

The host then changes the screen to show a video of several cavemen shouting and getting ready to fight. _"It was a simpler time,"_ he said, _"with simpler pleasures."_ On the last sentence, he changed the screen again to show a picture of a Neanderthal with a finger up its nose.

BlueTiger was back on screen to further explain prehistoric times. He held up two pelts on hangars and said, "Your clothes always matched." He then went over to a wall and began stroking it with a brush. "You could draw on the walls, and nobody would yell at you." He then picked up an oversized wooden club and cradled it between his hands. "It was much easier to hit a baseball."

The man sat down to centre himself in front of the readers. "Oh yeah," he said. "Prehistoric times were the best." Just then, he held his hand to his ear like he was hearing something getting closer. "Hey readers, are those paw steps I hear a-comin'? I think I know who _that_ is. Please welcome the Sabre-toothed Dusty!"

BlueTiger was right about one part: his cat was coming into the room, but not looking the way he expected him to be. His cat was now wearing silvery high-tech armour over his furry body and a black visor over his eyes.

"Meow," said the cat. "Sorry I'm late."

The host was shocked to see his cat dressed like this. His story was supposed to show how things were like in prehistoric times, and now his cat was ruining the moment by wearing a futuristic costume. "Dusty," he said, "why aren't you wearing your costume?" The man then held up a sabre-toothed tiger suit that was still on the hangar. "I stayed up all night making it," he said disappointingly.

"Meow, you're wasting your time, man," replied Dusty. "Prehistoric stuff is lame. Everyone knows the future is where it's at."

"What?" BlueTiger shouted. Now he was enraged his cat would humiliate him in his own story. A sheepish laugh then escaped his lips when he realized the readers were still watching him. "That's not true," he said. "Don't mind him, folks. Why even the Storm Hawks know that prehistoric stuff is, what the kids say, 'cool!'" The host then made the gesture with his fingers to show he was making a quotation.

"Meow, no, they don't," said Dusty.

"Yes, they do."

"Nope."

"They most certainly do."

"No, they don't."

BlueTiger was now getting annoyed with having to argue with his cat. "Yes, they do," he said, giving a menacing look.

"Nope."

Looking furious, BlueTiger shouted, "I know for a fact that they do!"

"Not," replied Dusty.

The man grunted over his cat's comeback.

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

Onboard the Storm Hawks' ship, the _Condor_, the crystal mage Piper was at her desk with a bunch of crystals in her hands. She was working normally when she suddenly got this frightening sensation. Whatever it was made her stop working and shiver with fear.

All of a sudden, the Sky Knight Aerrow walked past the room and noticed his teammate's terrified look. Out of concern for the girl's well-being he walked back to her room to find out what was causing her to act like this.

"Piper, what's wrong?" said Aerrow. The call was so unexpected that it almost made Piper jump out of her skin.

"I don't know, Aerrow," replied the girl while holding her hand to her face, "but I've got the strangest feeling that somewhere a man and cat are arguing about us – and the cat is winning."

* * *

Back in the cave house, BlueTiger was sitting on the couch pouting while he continued his argument with his cat.

"Do!" said the man.

"Do not!" said the cat.

"Do!"

"Do not!"

"Do!"

"Do not!"

"Do!" the man shouted. He turned his focus away from the cat and went back to the readers. "Look, while we're arguing, why don't you folks go ahead and read about the prehistoric Storm Hawks? On with the story!" Shifting his eyes back to Dusty he said, "Do!"

"Do not!" Dusty retorted.

Once again, the man grunted in frustration.

* * *

BlueTiger321: Well folks, I hope you all enjoyed this introduction. I'm sorry I have to end it so abruptly, but that's how it goes, I guess. So anyway, be sure to read and review!


	2. Chapter 2: Ugh

Chapter 2: Ugh

BlueTiger321: Okay, so now it's time to see what prehistoric times were like in Atmos. I hope you're all expecting some great hilarity, because I aim to please. Enjoy!

* * *

It was during prehistoric times in the world of Atmos. All around the skies were filled with clouds that blended with the mountainous lands called terras. This world, unlike the present day Atmos, had none of the technological advances that the people had, for every being – be they human or any type of humanoid creature – was just beginning their civilization.

The sun had arisen to mark a new day over a gigantic terra. The narrator begins by saying, _"Ah, dawn breaks over Terra Atmosia."_ The terra is filled with numerous plants along with swamps and an assortment of creatures. _"It is here that millions of years ago, life began taking its first clumsy steps out of the darkness, opening its newly formed eyeballs to stare into the blinding light of intelligence in order to–"_

The narrator realizes that no one really cares about this part as the light passes over three large objects: a giant hut made of wood, a stone hut shaped like a human head, and a rock.

_"Ah, never mind,"_ said the narrator. _"This happened a long time ago."_

Inside the wooden hut lived three people who were at the moment fast asleep. They were two boys and one girl sleeping soundly on the ground, each with a pelt covering their bodies. One boy had unruly red hair along with green eyes, the other boy had spiky blonde hair with blue eyes, and the girl had chocolate brown skin with midnight blue hair held up by a bone and amber eyes. Based on their appearances they were similar to the Storm Hawks members known as Aerrow, Piper and Finn, but in actuality they were their ancestors named Aerrowg, Pipar and Finngar.

The three snored as they continued to sleep inside their home. The hut's interior was mostly bare except for a few stones and bones on the ground along with a rock precariously sitting over a shelf above each of the inhabitant's heads.

Outside, a giant creature called a bog howler slept peacefully until the light reached its eyes. It then opened its mouth to let out a yawn and then closed again. But the bog howler wasn't finished; it then let out a cry that sounded similar to a foghorn. This in turn caused a bunch of other bog howlers to awaken and emit the same cry. The sound travelled across the terra and over the wooden hut.

Everyone in the hut was still asleep despite the loud cries coming from outside. Eventually, the vibrations caused the rocks on the shelves to move until they fell over the side. The rocks hit their mark and struck everyone on the head. A cry of pain escaped everyone's mouth as they were forced awake.

Aerrowg, Pipar and Finngar stood up and let out angry shouts from being woken up but then stared at the ground to see their rocks on the ground. They all let out laughter when they remembered it was their alarm systems working again. Picking up the rocks, they all placed them back on the shelves and slid them over to the edge where they would be used again for their wake-up calls. Each of them was wearing a different coloured pelt on their bodies: Aerrowg's was red, Pipar's was yellow, and Finngar's was blue. Since they were dressed they would now begin their daily routine.

(A/N: I know that in that episode, SpongeGar was naked and put on his pelt, but I have more decency than that.)

The three stuck their heads out of the entrance and shifted their eyes around to see the land. They stepped outside and said in unison, "Banooga ready!"

Aerrowg held a vine in his hand that led into the hut and tugged on it. "Tabanga, Radarr," he said.

The boy walked out with his friends until he was drawn back into the hut just as a chirp was heard. Aerrowg stood his ground and angrily stared inside the hut. "Radarr! Tabanga!" he said.

Tugging harder on the vine, Aerrowg walked out of the hut with what he was holding. A large head then came out of the hut with the other end of the vine wrapped around its neck. It was a giant version of the Storm Hawks co-pilot Radarr with sabre-toothed fangs, blue fur, long rabbit-like ears, brown eyes and a purple loincloth around his waist. The giant creature squeezed out of the small entrance and left the hut intact. Once he was out, Radarr let out another chirp and walked along with Aerrowg.

Radarr's tail dragged along the ground and left behind a blue slime trail due to his lack of baths. The pair eventually re-joined with Pipar and Finngar as they walked in front of the stone hut shaped like a head.

High in one of the hut's open windows popped out the head of a green-skinned humanoid called a Merb with black hair and black eyes on yellow irises and was wearing a brown pelt on his body. He was similar to the Storm Hawks carrier pilot named Stork, but this one was Stork's ancestor named Storgg.

The Merb looked outside and said, "Huh?" What he saw was his neighbour's pet Radarr leaving a slime trail all over his front lawn.

Storgg grunted and shook his fist angrily. Now his clean property was ruined thanks to his neighbour's carelessness. He then rushed downstairs to deal with the problem.

Before reaching the exit, Storgg stopped in his tracks and said, "Wait a minute." He recalled the last time he confronted Radarr.

_The Merb remembered when he faced off against the giant creature. He jumped up and down while babbling incoherently in front of Radarr, trying to deal with his problem. Just then, Radarr raised one of his front paws and flattened Storgg. The Merb cried out in pain when his body was flat as a pancake. It didn't stop when Radarr raised both front paws and struck the Merb again, making him shriek once more. Storgg managed to get up from the spot only to have Radarr flatten him numerous times with both paws and made him cry out with each attack. Radarr then jumped up and landed on Storgg's body and crushed him under his massive weight. The Merb let out a muffled cry as the creature walked away and left Storgg's body scattered in a slime trail._

Storgg frowned and made an hmm noise upon remembering that horrible experience. He definitely didn't want something like that to happen again. If he wanted to face off against Radarr then he would have to be prepared. He ran back into his hut and went over to two wooden clubs leaning against the wall. Holding both in his hands, he contemplated which one would be best. Storgg smiled and laughed when he chose the club in his right hand and ran out of his home.

Not long after Storgg left, the club that was left behind shed a tear and sobbed for having been rejected.

Aerrowg, Pipar and Finngar were still outside with Radarr standing next to them. Everything was going peacefully for them when they noticed a Merb coming out and shouting, "Aerrowg!"

Storgg confronted Aerrowg, knowing he would be responsible for Radarr's mess. "Aerrowg, manaka!" he shouted and pointed to Radarr, who looked away nonchalantly. The giant creature then walked away, not wanting to do with this conversation and leaving the others to face with the angry Merb.

Storgg bent down and picked up a handful of Radarr's slime, and showed it to Aerrowg. "No ta banga Radarr pooka!" He then pointed over to his hut to show the slime all over his lawn. "Tabanga ath a goat a sayla!" He gestured over to Aerrowg's hut to say he wanted him to clean up the slime since it came from his pet. "Tabanga doo! Tabanga doo!"

"Tabanga doo?" said Aerrowg. He looked around questiongly as though he had no clue to what Storgg was saying.

"Tabanga doo?" said Finngar. Pipar soon joined with her friends and put her hand to her mouth confusedly.

Storgg only huffed at their ineptness and walked away from them, but then yelped when he stepped on Radarr's slime trail and began sliding around the area.

"Tabanga," said Pipar, trying to make sense of everything Storgg said.

"No tabanga Radarr pooka?" said Aerrowg. He then hit his head and tried to remember exactly what Storgg said with his friends doing the same.

"Tabanga doo," said Pipar.

Meanwhile, Storgg was still sliding around the terra on Radarr's slime until he smacked into the rock on the side of his hut. The rock was also covered with the slime and splashed onto Storgg when he hit its side.

Upon getting off the rock, it opened up to reveal the being living underneath it. It was a large rhinoceros-humanoid figure called a Wallop that had grey hair and eyes and was wearing a green pelt on his body. It was identical to the Storm Hawks strongman named Junko, who then said, "Junkar!"

The Wallop now called Junkar walked out from under the rock and faced Storgg who stood motionless with the slime dripping all over his body. Junkar looked all over Storgg and didn't know what to make of it. He got a closer look and inspected the slime while making a disgusted noise. He then took a sniff of the slime and made another disgusted noise, which made Storgg annoyed for the Wallop not recognizing him. The Wallop then fingered a bit of the slime from Storgg's nose and licked it. Junkar made another disgusted noise from the bitter taste. He then brought out a salt shaker and placed some salt on the slime before shoving it into his mouth. This time he enjoyed it, but Storgg was now furious.

"Mawunga!" Junkar said and gave a thumbs up.

Storgg shook his body and got rid of all the slime while shouting, "Junkar!" His teeth clenched as he was fuming with anger.

The Wallop was taken aback but then realized that his neighbour was standing in front of him. "Storgg!" he said. A small laugh escaped his lips before he embraced Storgg's body. "Junkar unga Storgg!"

Junkar proceeded by giving Storgg a hug. He had his arms wrapped around the Merb so tightly that he flexed his muscles and began to strangle the poor Merb. Storgg's head was now swelling up like a balloon from the Wallop crushing his body and cutting off his air.

"Storgg," Junkar said, not paying attention to the pain he was inflicting. "Storgg!"

Aerrowg, Pipar and Finngar soon heard the cry and turned around when they recognized the voice. "Junkar!" they all cried in unison when they saw their friend.

Junkar let go of Storgg's limp body and was happy to see his friends calling out to him. "Aerrowg! Pipar! Finngar!" he said.

The four rushed over to each other. Finngar and Junkar got up close since they were the closest friends. Finngar greeted his friend first by bonking himself on the head three times. Junkar followed up by punching himself in the face three times. Finngar then stretched out his nose and let go, letting it smack into his face where it disappeared into his skin and made him cry out in pain. His nose then popped back out where he smiled. Junkar then stretched his lower lip over his head. It tore off with Junkar crying out in pain before returning to normal.

"Finngar!" cried Junkar.

"Junkar," said Finngar.

The two then embraced each other in a hug while Aerrowg and Pipar watched happily to see them bond. Storgg then walked up with an apathetic look and scoffed at the friends' moment.

"Finngar and Junkar no gots malanga palinka," he said, thinking the two of them were idiotic. The Merb then laughed at his own mockery and said, "Palinka."

Storgg walked away but once again slipped around on Radarr's slime trail. The four stood happily together while the Merb was shouting and having a miserable time. Eventually, Storgg slid into his own hut and crashed into a wall. A muffle was all that could be heard as his upper body went through the cracked wall with his rear coming out the other end.

Pipar then remembered something. She gestured to her friends and got their attention. Reaching into her pelt she pulled out half a coconut shell with a liquid filled inside it. The girl shook it in front of everyone's face and made noises to show it was something grand.

The boys all sniffed the shell and went ooh as they wondered what it was. Pipar reached out with her free hand and brought up a hollow log with a hole on the top and bottom. She then poured the liquid into the log, took a deep breath and blew from one end. A bubble came out from the other hole and expanded.

Junkar was frightened from the sight of the bubble, but the other boys and Pipar all looked up to see the glorious bubble before them. Junkar turned back and watched with his friends to see the bubble rise into the sky and pop.

The Wallop then applauded Pipar for making the bubble. As Junkar continued his clapping, storm clouds formed in the sky and released a drizzle.

Everyone looked up to see the rain coming down on them. Junkar clapped again, and then the rain stopped. A smile formed on their faces upon seeing the rain at their command. Finngar clapped his hands to see if he could do it. For a while nothing happened, making them all frown, but then the rain started once again. The group erupted in cheers just before Aerrowg clapped and stopped the rain. The group cheered again.

Soon each one of them went ecstatic and clapped their hands to make the rain start, but all that clapping caused the clouds to unleash a bang of thunder. Everyone paused after hearing the noise and was left bewildered at what the clouds were doing. Junkar clapped to try and make the rain stop, but all it did was cause more thunder to erupt and lightning to flash in the sky. It was so startling that they all ran around frantically shouting.

Storgg looked out from his hut to see the group acting strangely. "Aerrowg, Pipar, Finngar and Junkar babwana ga," he said.

The Merb walked back into his house and continued what he was doing. A stone slab sat on a wooden stand that was chiselled into a self-portrait of Storgg. "No pooka Storgg," he said after putting a beret on his head and grabbing a hammer and chisel. "Storgg tay fayla foo."

A loud boom of thunder echoed throughout the terra and made Storgg jump. Outside the others stood still and saw a bolt of lightning come down and strike the log they used to make bubbles.

Storgg rushed to his window and gasped when he saw his four neighbours lying on the ground covered in soot and a large flame burning before them just as the rain finally stopped.

"Aerrowg! Pipar! Finngar! Junkar!" he shouted worriedly, hoping the others weren't dead.

Upon hearing their names, the others regained consciousness and screamed in fright when they saw something they didn't know. On instinct, they all ran for cover as fast as they could to get away from the unknown. Aerrowg and his friends stuck their heads out from behind a small mound and watched the flame flicker in the distance. Storgg also came outside, and he was joined by Aerrowg, Pipar, Finngar and Junkar. They were now seeing the fire wasn't chasing after them, so they decided to investigate what it was. Still, they weren't sure if it was safe or not since they had never seen anything like this in their lives.

Storgg sniffed the flame and made an hmm noise, trying to determine what this mysterious thing does. He stuck his hand into the fire and shouted in pain as his hand was now burned. The Merb was forced to stick his hand into his mouth to dull the pain.

Aerrowg, Pipar, Finngar and Junkar all said, "Huh?" and decided to see for themselves. They each placed their hands into the fire, and the only reaction they made was a quizzical hmm noise. Each of them then rubbed their chins to think of how they should feel upon touching the burning substance. Then they said, "Uh-huh," upon learning it was hot. A yawn then escaped from their mouths while their hands continued to burn. After a short pause, they all screamed in pain and held their burned hands.

Aerrowg and the others all jumped around until the pain finally subsided. Now they knew never to touch that hot stuff again. Junkar looked at his hand and smelled it. He was disgusted at first, but then realized that his hand smelled good. The Wallop licked his chops, brought out his salt shaker, and poured salt over his hand. Junkar then chewed on his hand while the others watched.

Finngar approached his friend to tell him that he was trying to eat his own hand, but the Wallop looked rather angry and barked at his friend, thinking Finngar wanted to have a piece of his food. Junkar walked away from his friends and sat on the ground where he continued chewing on his hand. He barked once more to make sure they weren't following him.

Aerrowg, Pipar, Finngar and Storgg all frowned and licked their lips. Seeing Junkar eat made them remember that now they were getting hungry. Just then, Pipar shifted her eyes and saw four flower buds that were ripe and ready to eat. A gasp came from her mouth as she licked her lips and thought that could be the meal her friends could have.

"Bangar!" said Pipar, walking off to collect the buds.

Storgg watched the girl go and then imagined an amoeba in his mind, thinking Pipar was dumb for wanting to eat flower buds. "Manga," he said.

Pipar picked up the flower buds and was bringing them back to the others. She didn't watch where she was going and accidentally tripped on Storgg's feet. The girl yelped as she fell and made the buds slip from her hands. Everyone watched in dismay as the flower buds fell and land in the flame. Now they all thought they had lost their meal.

Storgg looked angry at Pipar for her clumsiness. "Pipar!" he shouted and then started babbling incoherently.

The Merb stopped his shouting when he suddenly felt something being sprinkled on his burnt hand. A small laughter then filled his ears, making him turn around to see Junkar was pouring salt on Storgg's hand. The Wallop opened his mouth wide as he was ready to chomp down on his next meal, but Storgg pulled his hand away at the last second and bashed Junkar on the head with a stick.

"Junkar! Changa!" said Storgg, telling the Wallop to go away.

Junkar pouted in response and crawled away for having been refused to eat.

Aerrowg was taking in everything that just happened. His eyes were fixated on the stick in Storgg's hand. He then turned his gaze over to the flower buds that were roasting in the flame. He turned back to the stick, and back to the buds. Aerrowg's mouth opened as he tried to put these things together. Somehow, he thought, there would be a way to get the flower buds out of the hot stuff, and it would involve using the stick. His mind was trying to think of a solution, all the while thinking of ominous sounds forming in his ears. There had to be a way; all he had to do was think. Flower buds. Stick. Flower buds. Stick. Flower buds! Stick! Aerrowg thought for so long, trying to come up with the answer.

The sound in his head continued and turned out to be a barbershop quartet that included a woman with a moustache.

Aerrowg thought with all his brain power and then finally found the answer. "Storgg! Storgg!" he said, making the Merb turn to face him. "Tooka Aerrowg?"

Storgg nodded in response and hit Aerrowg on the head with the stick, thinking he wanted the same thing he did to Junkar. Aerrowg's head throbbed in pain after being struck until he shook off his dizziness.

"Na, na, na!" explained Aerrowg.

The boy then took the stick out of Storgg's hand and gestured Pipar and Finngar to come with him. They walked back to the flame where Aerrowg got three flower buds out safely by jabbing the stick through each of them. Aerrowg held out the roasted flower buds to his friends where they smelled them. They didn't know how, but this hot stuff made it smell delicious. They each swallowed a bud, but then paused when they discovered the hot stuff didn't just make food smell good; it made it taste good, too.

Aerrowg, Pipar and Finngar all jumped around in joy upon the new discovery they made. Storgg's eyes followed the three jumping around until they stopped and awed at the stick. Their eyes were as big as saucers as it stood underneath a heavenly light.

Once the three were done with their excitement, Aerrowg got the last bud out of the fire and held it before Storgg. The Merb wasn't sure about whether this was a good idea, but he decided to humour them so he swallowed the bud. The moment the rich flavours travelled down his throat did he find it was much better than eating it raw.

"Namba," said Storgg.

In response, Storgg jumped around the area in joy the same way the others did. When he finished he faced Aerrowg and shook the boy's hand.

"Tayla foo, Aerrowg," he said, congratulating the boy. "Tayla foo Aerrowg not dumbo." An image of Albert Einstein then formed in Storgg's mind to show he thought Aerrowg was a genius.

* * *

After a short while, everyone gathered around the flame to start cooking their favourite foods. Aerrowg and Pipar went first by placing more flower buds on sticks over the flame. Like before they ate and enjoyed the roasted plants.

Finngar and Storgg went next by each sticking a mushroom on sticks. As soon as the fungi were nice and roasted, they stuck them in their mouths and chewed with great gusto.

Junkar was up next but he had the wrong idea. On his stick he placed another stick and set it over the flame. The stick got roasted and Junkar ate it, not realizing the stick punctured through both his cheeks.

"Junkar," said Finngar. The boy got his friend's attention and shook his head to show that he was doing it wrong. "Waa Finngar."

At that moment, a small creature crawled along the ground that seemed to resemble the Colonel. It chattered without making sense to anyone, but Finngar saw this was a good example to show his friend. The boy raised his foot and crushed the small spider-like creature, killing it and making it howl in agony. Finngar followed up by pulling the stick out of Junkar's mouth and using it to pick up the dead arachnid.

Junkar happily accepted the food and roasted it over the flame. When it was cooked enough, he stuck it in his mouth, swallowed, and exhaled a large burp. He, along with the others, then revelled in their success of finding a way to get better food.

The narrator then entered the story and made everything pause. _"Hurray,"_ he said. _"It looks like our prehistoric pals have just discovered fire. But they will soon learn that when you play with fire, you may get burned. Stay tuned..."

* * *

_

Back in the real world, BlueTiger321 rejoined the readers after viewing the first segment of the story. The man emitted laughter after seeing how amazing it was during the prehistoric era.

"I told you prehistoric times were fun!" he said.

An idea then formed in his head. Two sticks were clutched in his hands as he held them out to the readers. "Hey, how's about I teach you readers how a caveman makes a fire using..." The man clacked the sticks together before saying, "...two sticks?" The host proceeded by rubbing the sticks together furiously. "It doesn't get any cooler than that, huh? Chalk one up for BlueTiger!"

In another part of the house, a hairy arm holds a hunk of chalk and brings it down onto a scoreboard made of rock. On the top was a wooden sign that said _Prehistory_ and BlueTiger's display earned one point.

"Rubbing," said BlueTiger, still trying to make a fire. The man was eventually tiring himself out from rubbing so hard, and all that work hadn't even created a spark. He eventually gave up while he regained his breath.

"I guess this is that type of wood that doesn't burn," he said.

Suddenly, a red laser came out of nowhere and struck both sticks, setting them ablaze. It came so fast that it made BlueTiger feel like his heart skipped a beat. Then he remembered who did it.

"Dusty!" he shouted.

The cat Dusty was a few feet away with a satellite over his back that was randomly shooting out lasers.

"Meow," he said. "Laser technology... Score one for the future."

On the other side of the Prehistory scoreboard was a digital screen that had the word _Future_ at the top. Dusty's act had just added one point, making the scores tied.

BlueTiger was unimpressed by his cat and knew of one thing that would show him he was serious about proving that prehistory is better than the future.

"Well, I've got something that you'll never find in your little 'future': a real, live caveman," he said, making the air quotations with his hands.

No sooner did the host say that when he noticed someone coming into the cave house. This person was someone who was nearly as tall as BlueTiger dressed in the same pelt as the host with brown hair and brown eyes.

"Hey, there he is," said the host. "C'mon in, big, troglodyte fella. Come on." The caveman walked into the house, feeling confused about everything new before him. "You see, readers," explained BlueTiger, "I found him frozen in a block of ice, and then I spent three days thawing him out with my mom's hair dryer. I call him Terranova210486, or Terranova for short."

(A/N: A big thank you goes out to my fellow author Terranova210486 for agreeing to be part of this story. Everyone else should check him out; he's got some great stories.)

Terranova stopped upon seeing all the readers and jumped back, feeling they were a threat.

"Isn't he something?" asked BlueTiger. "It's okay, Terranova."

Another point was added to the Prehistory scoreboard by the mysterious hand, putting it in the lead.

"That's nothing, dude," said Dusty. "Make way for the future."

A metal door suddenly opened by itself and out walked an ostentatious robot that was covered in silvery metal, had white glowing eyes and a satellite on its head.

"Greetings," said the robot in a computerized voice. "I am the X-29488. How may I serve you?"

The Future scoreboard gained another point, once again creating a tie.

"Where do you keep getting all this stuff?" BlueTiger said exasperatedly.

"Never you mind, man," said Dusty. "Let's go see what Terranova thinks. Meow!"

Terranova slowly crept up to the robot. Not knowing what it would do, he placed his hand over it. Immediately, the robot felt threatened and opened up its eyes.

"Attack! Attack!" said the robot, creating an alarm.

The caveman was frightened by the robot coming after him and ran away screaming, but the robot fired lasers from the satellite on its head. The lasers hit Terranova on his rear, and each hit landed another point on the Future scoreboard.

"Dusty!" cried BlueTiger. "You're ruining my caveman story!"

As the host was shouting, the robot still fired lasers at Terranova and said, "Attack! Attack!" It was now turning into absolute mayhem.

The narrator joined and said, _"Will BlueTiger321 ever get control of the special? What will the Storm Hawks do with fire? Stay tuned to Storm Hawks B.C. and find out!"

* * *

_

BlueTiger321: Well folks, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter but it's not over yet. So be sure to watch for the next chapter when we see what the Storm Hawks do with fire. So until next time, be sure to read and review!


	3. Chapter 3: Playing with Fire

Chapter 3: Playing with Fire

BlueTiger321: Hi everyone, and welcome to the next chapter. So now let's see what the Storm Hawks' ancestors do now that they've discovered fire. Enjoy!

* * *

The narrator begins the next part of the story as flashes of red light are coming from within BlueTiger's cave house. _"Welcome back to Storm Hawks B.C.,"_ he said. _"Sounds like things aren't going good for BlueTiger. Let's read."_

Indeed things weren't going good for the host as the robot and Terranova were still fighting each other. BlueTiger hid behind his couch while the robot fired lasers from its satellite and Terranova hurled a boulder but missed.

Dusty, meanwhile, was enjoying this scene and ate popcorn while chuckling to himself. "This is great," he said.

BlueTiger then notices the readers are back so he turns to them and said, "Hi, readers. Glad you're back." He ducked as a laser sped over his head. "Let's read some more Storm Hawks B.C. while I get things straightened out over here."

Just then, a boulder being thrown by the caveman was coming straight for him. BlueTiger didn't have time to duck and so he screamed and took the hit. The host then comes up with a dazed look on his face.

"Or... maybe not," said the man before fainting.

* * *

The scene with Aerrowg, Pipar, Finngar, Junkar and Storgg was still frozen until the narrator re-enters the story. _"When we last left off,"_ he said, _"our troglodytes had just discovered fire. How long will it take for them to mess it up? Let's see."_

The scene was unfrozen and the group continued jumping around with joy. Now they were compelled to try even more foods they thought could be cooked. Each of them ran off in a different direction to find something to eat.

Pipar found a patch of high grass, so she skewered her stick through it and pulled it up, ran back to the flame, roasted it and took a bite. It tasted just as good as she thought it would.

Finngar picked a patch of assorted plants and brought them back to the fire. After roasting them for a couple of seconds, he chomped down with glee.

Junkar walked back to the fire and didn't have anything on his stick, but then he twisted it around his own pelt and ripped it off until he was nude. He then stuck his clothes over the flame and roasted it. The Wallop ate his pelt and burped out a remaining piece where he grabbed it, wiped his mouth and ate the last of his clothes.

(A/N: Okay, so that's the only nude scene I'm going to allow in this story.)

Aerrowg ran to a tree with a couple vines hanging from the branches. He twirled his stick around it like he was wrapping spaghetti. With his collection of vines, he went back and roasted them over the flame and then sucked it into his mouth in one gulp.

Storgg found a pile of pebbles and picked them off the ground. He then placed them in a frying pan where he set it over the flame. One by one the pebbles turned into popcorn from the heat. The Merb happily chomped down on his meal.

Junkar, after putting on a new pelt, lifted a rock where he found more arachnids that looked like the Colonel. They all scattered away while the Wallop drooled over the thought of eating them.

Pipar then had an idea: she drew a circle in the dirt using her stick and then jabbed the centre. Upon bringing up the soil it was turned into a hamburger. She then roasted her food over the flame.

All the cave dwellers continued to find whatever was edible and roast them over the flame. It didn't matter if they were getting full; eating cooked food was such a wonderful experience to them. Eventually, they all made loud burps from eating anything while Storgg said, "Barpa!"

Aerrowg, Pipar, Finngar, Junkar and Storgg spent the entire day roasting and eating food. Eventually, they had eaten so much that they couldn't eat anymore and they lied down on the ground with enormous bellies. It was getting late, and so they all stood up to stretch, yawn and head off back to their homes.

"Ga naga, Junkar. Ga naga, Aerrowg, Pipar and Finngar," said Storgg.

"Ga naga, Storgg. Ga naga, Aerrowg, Pipar and Finngar," said Junkar.

"Ga naga, Storgg. Ga naga, Junkar," Aerrowg, Pipar and Finngar said in unison.

Each of the cave dwellers headed back to their huts, but then they all froze in their tracks when they remembered something: the flame. It was still outside. Cooking food over it, they thought, was all it was good for, and they had to do it again. Now they each thought that no one else should have it, except for themselves. The fire continued to burn and everyone turned around to see it once their stomachs returned to normal size. Each one of them had to seize this opportunity to take possession of it before the others do.

Storgg was the first one to claim the burning log. His thoughts of grandeur were interrupted when Aerrowg, Pipar and Finngar came rushing towards him with angry looks.

"No Storgg fui fui," said Aerrowg, referring to the flame. "Aerrowg fui fui!"

"Nanga!" Pipar retorted. "Pipar fui fui!"

Finngar got between the two and confronted the angry Storgg. "Finngar fui fui!"

"Aerrowg, Pipar and Finngar bagata!" said Storgg. He thought he was the rightful owner of the flame.

The four now looked at one another with rage in their eyes. Finngar acted first by giving a slight shove to Storgg. Pipar then did the same to Aerrowg. Storgg calmly set the burning log on the ground and shoved Finngar back while Aerrowg shoved Pipar. Now it was turning into a fight. Finngar and Pipar pushed their assailants back, but then Aerrowg and Storgg followed by bashing the others with wooden clubs. Pipar and Finngar took the blows and rubbed their aching heads. Well, they thought if things were getting rough, then they'll take part in it. Pipar and Finngar then brought out their own clubs and hit Aerrowg and Storgg on their heads. It then turned into an absolute brawl as each of them took turns on whacking the ones they faced on the head.

Meanwhile, Junkar saw this was his chance. While the others were busy fighting with each other he snuck up and grabbed the burning log.

Aerrowg, Pipar, Finngar and Storgg continued hitting each other for all they were worth, ignoring the pain on their throbbing heads. Suddenly, they all stopped when they heard familiar laughter and peered out across the plain. There was Junkar running away with the log back to his rock.

The Wallop thought he had everyone fooled, and once he was back under his rock then he'd be safe with his prize. It changed when the others got up front with furious looks on their faces and shouted, "Junkar!"

Junkar stopped in his tracks and was so frightened by the shouts that he yelped and catapulted the log into the air. Everyone watched to see where the log would land.

Storgg figured out first where it would land and stood underneath it, laughing and with outstretched arms. But Pipar climbed on top of Storgg's head and caught the log before it came close to the Merb.

"Ah ha!" said the girl. She then took off and left Storgg enraged for impeding him.

Pipar laughed while running with the log, but then a red blur sped past her. She stopped with wide eyes to see the log was gone. Aerrowg now had the log and he laughed with it in his possession, but Storgg ran past him and grabbed the log, laughing over his triumph. Just as he was celebrating, Storgg was snatched up and the log was left to levitate in the air. Finngar laughed and ran as he thought he finally had the log, but his eyes went wide with shock when he saw he was clutching an angry Storgg in his hands. The blonde boy let out a nervous laugh at his own folly.

Junkar ran up and grabbed the log while it still hovered in the air. He held it high over his head and ran straight for his rock, but then something swooped over him and snatched up the log. The Wallop stopped and said, "Huh?" when he felt nothing between his fingers.

The log was now being held by Pipar as she swung from a vine. Laughter escaped from her mouth when her plan had worked, but she didn't watch where she was going and smacked into the side of a tree. The girl was forced to let go of the log and let it roll down the tree's bark.

Aerrowg luckily happened to be at the tree's base where he snatched up the log and ran away laughing. Pipar, meanwhile, slid down the tree and returned to the ground. As Aerrowg ran away, he stepped on a pile of leaves and fell down screaming and left the log in the air. The leaves were covering a large hole in the ground, and Aerrowg stepped into it unknowingly.

Finngar ran up and grabbed the log just as Aerrowg fell to the bottom of his trap. The redhead stuck his head out angrily at his blonde friend for making the hole.

Finngar didn't stop to see if Aerrowg was all right. All that mattered to him was that now he had the flame. Suddenly, the boy stopped when he saw something. Whatever it was, it made him shriek like a little girl and run away, dropping the log in the process.

What Finngar saw was a menacing-looking dragon bearing its sharp fangs against a yellow background. It turned out to be a drawing by Storgg that he held up to frighten the boy.

"Dumba Finngar," said Storgg. He laughed and nonchalantly threw away the drawing. "Fui fui Storgg!"

The Merb grabbed the log and ran back to his hut. He was about to make his grand escape when he shook the doorknob and realized it was locked. A grumble came out of Storgg's mouth as he rummaged around his pelt until he smiled and pulled out a key. Returning to his other hand, his eyes went wide when he saw the log was missing. He fumed with anger when he saw who was running away with it.

It was now Pipar who snatched the flame. She cheered while running with the log in her hands over her head. Now she knew it would be hers, but her dreams came crashing down when she stepped onto a rope trap and sent her skyward. A yell escaped her lips as the rope pulled her up and made her release her grasp on the log.

Junkar stood on the ground, laughing at Pipar for falling into his trap. He seized this moment to grab the log and run away before anyone else could stop him.

Pipar narrowed her eyes while looking at the world upside-down and seeing the Wallop escape. "Junkar!" she said angrily. "Ba bwana, Junkar? Ba bwana!" Just then, the rope snapped and let Pipar fall to the ground, screaming and rustling a pile of leaves.

"Junkar fui fui!" the Wallop said merrily.

A high patch of grass stood off to the side of the path. Junkar was too busy to notice three legs coming out from inside it. They belonged to Aerrowg, Finngar and Storgg. None of them knew the others were there in the grass with them, but they each had the same idea to intercept Junkar. The Wallop continued running and tripped over the legs, throwing the log as he fell to the ground.

Aerrowg, Finngar and Storrg popped their heads out of the grass and laughed. They stopped when they saw the burning log was rolling away, so they all ran out and chased after it. Pipar had just recovered from her fall and watched the others run after the log.

"Fui fui!" shouted Storgg. "Storgg fui fui! Storgg!"

"Aerrowg fui fui!" shouted the redhead.

"Finngar fui fui!" shouted the blonde.

"Junkar fui fui!" shouted the Wallop.

"Pipar fui fui!" shouted the girl, joining the others in the race.

The five cave dwellers ran as fast as their legs would carry them. They all wanted the flame so badly since they went through pain, planning and humiliation to claim it. The log kept rolling and rolling and went up the side of a plateau. Everyone chased after it and watched it hover in the air before coming back down the side. Fear now took hold of everyone when the log was now rolling towards them. They remembered how much the flame hurt when they touched it and they didn't want that to happen again.

Everyone shouted in unison, "Fui fui no banga!" while running away from the log.

Aerrowg, Pipar, Finngar, Junkar and Storgg all made cowardly whimpers while running away from the log. Their eyes were fixated on it, so none of them saw the tree root in front of them. All of them tripped on the root and landed face first on the ground. The log rolled right over their bodies without spreading the flame. They then self-righted themselves and ran back to the log just as it stopped its rolling and sat by itself.

Everyone managed to grab the log at the same time. They picked it up and grunted angrily while trying to take it. It was now turning into a game of tug-of-war between the five of them. They then shouted that the fire belonged to them.

"Aerrowg fui fui!"

"Pipar fui fui!"

"Finngar fui fui!"

"Storgg fui fui!"

"Junkar fui fui!"

None of them were relenting their hold over the log. It now looked like things were about to get ugly between the group. Just then, the sky blackened as another storm cloud formed over the terra. Everyone stopped tugging on the log and looked up when they heard a loud bang of thunder. The storm cloud then unleashed rain, and the water droplets ended up extinguishing the flame. Aerrowg and the others all looked and saw the fire was gone and left behind a charred spot on the log. A groan came from everyone's mouth when they had lost what they desired after everything they endured.

The rain stopped and the storm cloud dispersed into the sky. Everyone released control of the log and sat down on the ground. They had just gone through a fiasco in trying to acquire the flame.

Pipar then looked at Aerrowg with tear-filled eyes. She couldn't believe that she let greed take hold of her thoughts and it would get between her friendships with the others. "Aerrowg," she said in a sad voice.

The redhead soon felt his own eyes tear up upon seeing his friend. "Pipar," he said.

Soon, Finngar looked at his Wallop friend with the same expression as his other friends. "Junkar," he said apologetically.

Junkar's lower lip quivered and replied, "Finngar."

The four then embraced each other and cried. They each thought they were wrong for trying to ruin their friendship. Storgg, meanwhile, was not sympathetic with their feelings. He grumbled and stood up with a club in his hands.

"So taka jakka za!" the Merb shouted and held the club over his head.

Aerrowg and the others held each other close and waited as Storgg was about to attack. Instead they all saw the Merb cry in agony as another storm cloud came and struck him with a bolt of lightning. The lightning bolt disappeared in a flash and left Storgg's body charred. He ended up fainting before everyone with his body releasing wisps of smoke.

"Tabango doo..." Storgg said dejectedly.

Aerrowg, Pipar, Finngar and Junkar looked at this and thought this was the best way to rekindle their friendship. They each smiled and held up a stick that each had three marshmallows skewered through it. The four of them stood over Storgg's body and roasted their treats with glee.

The sun then set over the terra, turning the sky a deep orange. The narrator rejoins and said, _"Perhaps certain events in Atmosian history are better left untold."

* * *

_

BlueTiger321: Well folks, the story's not over yet. I still have some unfinished business left with Terranova and the robot. So until next time, be sure to read and review!


	4. Chapter 4: When Worlds Collide

Chapter 4: When Worlds Collide

BlueTiger321: Welcome back to my story. So now let's see what I'm up to in the end of my parody. Enjoy!

* * *

BlueTiger321 sat on the front step outside his cave house, sulking after everything that happened. His story was ruined after all the hard work he put into it. This was supposed to be his big moment and it had come crashing down in an instant.

"Now I know how Stork feels," he said, sympathizing with the Storm Hawks' carrier pilot.

The front door opened and out came Dusty to comfort his owner. "Meow," he said. "Why the long face?"

BlueTiger gave a mean look to his cat, thinking Dusty had a lot of nerve to make him feel better after deliberately sabotaging the story. "I think you know perfectly well, you little fuzz fink!" said the man. "All I wanted was to show the nice readers how great the cavemen were. But all they got was technology-induced chaos!" The host then resumed his sulking and turned away from his cat.

(A/N: Yes, that was one of the names I called my cat when I still had him! XD)

"Come back inside," explained Dusty. "I think you'll be pleasantly surprised."

A smile crossed BlueTiger's face. "You got rid of the robot/android/cyborg?" he asked.

"Nope, even better."

BlueTiger opened the door to his cave house to see what his cat was trying to tell him. The inside was now filled with lights in different colours, but the man was too busy talking to his cat to take notice. "Dusty, I guess I've really misjudged you," he said. The host turned around and was surprised at the strange sight. "What the–!" he shouted.

There was the caveman Terranova210486 sitting on a drum set and began to play with two giant bones in his hands. Music then filled the air as the X-29488 was at a turntable and joined in by laying down a beat. The robot then began to sing.

Robot: _When worlds collide!_

BlueTiger's mouth was agape. Before he saw the caveman and the robot were like oil and water, and now they were working together to create music.

"Pretty sweet, eh?" said Dusty.

Robot: _You can run_

Terranova: _But no can hide_

The music continued as cave drawings of the Storm Hawks began to dance to the rhythm.

Robot: _When worlds collide_

_You'll laugh so hard_

_You'll swear you've died_

_When worlds collide_

_Hold my hand_

_I'll be your guide_

_When worlds collide_

BlueTiger still couldn't believe this and so he rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't dreaming. It was real.

The image then changed to the parts where Storgg hit Junkar and Aerrowg on their heads with his stick, and then it showed the heads of the robot and the caveman revolving around a heart.

Robot: _Buckle up for the sweetest ride_

_And prepare to have your mind blown wide_

_When worlds collide_

Dusty then joined in and said, "Yo, check it out!"

Terranova took hold of a microphone and sang out to the readers. He now had a golden bone on a chain around his neck.

Terranova: _When worlds collide, it's a curious thing_

_But you never heard a robot and a caveman sing_

_In his metal chest are some working parts_

_How is that different from my beating heart?_

The robot laid down another beat after the last verse and the image showed Finngar and Junkar drooling.

BlueTiger still looked rather confused at the show with his mouth open wide. Meanwhile, the robot turned over to a keyboard and spread its fingers across the keys.

Robot: _I'm from the future_

Terranova: _And I'm from the past_

Robot: _But that don't mean this friendship _

_Wasn't built to last_

Terranova: _He was made in a lab_

_And I was born in a cave_

_So let me hear you holler_

_For this inter-era rave_

The robot played another tune on the keyboard while Terranova began to dance The Robot on the floor.

The image changed to Stork on the _Condor_, hallucinating while doing sit-ups on the floor. "Future!" he said.

Terranova continued to breakdance while the robot played on the keyboard.

"Word," said Dusty.

The image changed to Radarr as he said in a computerized voice, "I am Radarr-tron!"

Robot: _You-you-you-you can run_

Terranova was now doing a Flare breakdance on the floor, swinging around his legs while balancing on his hands. BlueTiger followed the caveman and spun his head around and around to keep up with him.

Terranova: _But no can hide_

The caveman finished by sitting on his side and holding up his head. He proceeded by Moonwalking along with his robot friend. They then made a big finish by crossing their arms and facing the readers.

Robot: _When worlds collide!_

The performance was over and BlueTiger had to close his mouth with his hand as all the lights were shut off. A smile formed on his face as his cat came over to him. Now he was going to show his appreciation for this little surprise.

"Well Dusty, I guess you were right," said the man. "The future _is_ cool."

But Dusty wasn't done yet: there was still one more thing he wanted to give his owner. "Just to show you there's no hard feelings," he said, "I got you a present from the prehistoric times."

The man went ecstatic upon hearing about receiving a present. "Ooh, what is it?" he asked. "A new loincloth?"

"No," replied the cat.

"An enlarged forehead?"

"Nope."

The host gave up and said, "Oh, what is it?"

Dusty went over to the front door and revealed the surprise. Outside was a Tyrannosaurus rex that exhaled a mighty roar. BlueTiger bulged out his eyes in horror and screamed at the top of his lungs when he saw his present was coming after him. The man ran away as fast as he could but the dinosaur gave chase after him.

"Dusty!" the man shouted, hoping his cat would come to his rescue.

But the cat was still inside the cave house and watched in delight at his owner's misery while eating popcorn. "This is great," he said.

The Tyrannosaurus rex finally had BlueTiger cornered and picked him up by his legs with its mouth. The man shouted as the dinosaur chomped down with its sharp teeth, but then he turned to the readers and smiled.

"Well, thanks for reading Storm Hawks B.C., folks," he said. "I hope you all enjoyed it, and thank you for leaving comments. So until next time, be sure to read and review!" The dinosaur was now nibbling on his legs and making the man laugh. "Now he's tickling! Cut it out, you lizard!"

But the dinosaur continued to nibble and kept BlueTiger laughing.

* * *

**THE END**


End file.
